Will someone PLEASE explain: Butch & Femme

Back in the early days of my lesbian career I made a concerted effort to exude powerful femininity, pitching myself half way between Jessica Rabbit and Joan Collins

As for sex, having it at all was a good result, so I took what I could get and dreamed of a time when I didn't have to spend an evening pretending to be interested in someone in a club just to get laid.

It was only once I'd secured that elusive regular shag that I could watch my burgeoning sexual preferences unfold.

It started to become clear that despite my long nails and wiggly walk, I was actually discovering a slightly more masculine version of myself between the sheets. In fact, a phantom cock started appearing in my thoughts, which I would use on any woman lucky enough to find themselves in my bed.

I read books and looked online, and satisfied myself that this was entirely normal for a girl of a lesbian ilk. So I skipped along, content at blossoming into a part time butch, as long as I could keep my heels and nail varnish.

But soon unease was finding it& 39;s way into my thoughts. How could I be imagining myself with a big hard cock one minute, then wanting to be fucked with that same hard cock the next? I was starting to confuse myself, and the metamorphosis from heels to trainers didn& 39;t do much to help.

Fast forward a few years and I& 39;m very comfortable with my lack of sexual boundaries. I love to suck my wife& 39;s cock and watch her writhe with pleasure as she comes (in our imagination) down the back of my throat. I equally love the sensation that a very vivid imagination gives when I& 39;m balls deep in my wife.

But even now, I still don& 39;t know whether I qualify as butch or femme. In fact, why do so many forums, magazines and people seem to think I have to choose?

My wife would laugh at my suggestion that I could be butch, but if butch is more about what goes on in my head rather than the clothes I wear, there are some days I could easily be butch.

And sometimes I& 39;m all femme. That& 39;s to say I feel so completely womanly, and want to be adored, worshipped and fucked like a woman.

Sexual identity labels help describe a persons preferences and I& 39;m not suggesting we remove them, but can I add one of my own?

"Open to suggestion" ;)